hope x faith

Oh wow, I have not been blogging since, nearly 3 months ago?

I still don't know what to blog about though. Nothing much happened.

I'm still waiting for my Asian Nursing Scholarship (ANS) interview.

It's this coming January. It's nearly 2015 also.

Time flies.

I've not been in school for 3 months as well. Stopped IB, due to reasons. But its okay, I understand, but I'm glad that I experienced how IB would be like for the first year :-) & I'm glad to meet friendly schoolmates & teachers in ISB. It's a great school, I can say.

I can't wait for the interview actually. I'm excited for it yet anxious about it. I don't know man, maybe because it's an interview, who likes being interviewed? LOL I'm excited for baby selle as well! She decided to apply to that scholarship, aww so happy for her, happy that she's willing to take that step of faith in pursuing different careers from what she wanted the most.

It's okay baby selle :-) I'm here with you & I believe that God will blessed you & give you greater plans ahead for you!

x 

Though I'm not studying, but I've been working ; working as a tuition teacher & clerk(?) but obviously I'm not eligible to work in Brunei, but just helping my little cousins education & families business/company. It's not that bad actually, except waking up early in the morning. HAH. The best part is, well I bet that's every employees best feels, RECEIVING YOUR SALARY. I spent most of my first month salary during my Geography Trip to Singapore (not a wise spender) but glad that I can saved up some HEHE. 

x

This month is the month of Arise & Build in CHCB, oh my, I'm so proud to be a part of it. Such a blessed opportunity. It is where we get to pledged, & fulfil that amount of pledging we pledged. 

(i don't think i explained that right) 

but yeah, it is for us to make our vows to God & fulfil our pledge with faith & trust towards God and His house. 

x

Two Eight One Four *// Nineteenth

Happy 19th Birthday, Joelle. 

wow finally turning nineteen, adding up one year old each year, time does go real fast ey. 

Celebrated my birthday a day earlier this year (gotta work full shift on my birthday oh wellz), I din't know it was actually a surprised birthday dinner, haha like seriously no clue at all. Long story short, my mom planned all this, and with the help of my brother's girlfriend, or should I just call her my so called future-sister-in-law (hahaha). Twas a great, awesome, unforgettable birthday memory :') 

I can't believed that I teared up in front of them, not because of the surprise, but because of a voice call from me Dad. We both have the same birthday, same date and month, this year we couldn't celebrate it together, so he wished my happy birthday through weChat, it was so touching, idk why, he sounded sad though, but idk, i literally teared up, and make some of them teared up as well, HAHAHA awks. 

I'm really grateful to have these people around me, so cheer me up, to put so much effort just to make someone happy, and also I'm grateful enough to have these bunch of lovely people in my life. Life is great. God is good. He gave me a wonderful life with lovely awesome people being part of my life and me being part of their lives as well. God is great. I couldn't ask for more. God blessed me with such loving parents, brothers, grandfather, best friends, good friends, friends, even friends from Facebook, those who wished me happy birthday, I'm glad to able to meet them. I realized how blessed my life have become. All thanks to the Lord, who gave me an opportunity to seek for him, to believe him, to love him, and to have an open heart to myself, letting Him into my life, forever and ever. Each day passed by, going through ups and downs in life, The Lord is always my saviour, my strength, the strength of my life, the saviour of my soul. Because of Him, because of what He taught us all, I love my family more and more, trying to understand and be there for each of them. Because of Him, I tend to be more joyous and also to lend a hand to anyone of my friends who needed it, and eventually, I make new friends and became closer and closer each day. Because of Him, I became more independent, especially when it comes to my studies, without the verse 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13 

I won't be able to obtain good results last month. 

Not to forget, the house of God that I went to, to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, to understand deeper what the Lord is telling us, and also to have the most awesome church members. (missing them so much) 

Like I said, 

I really could not ask for more. 

xx

#TFIOS

"And I know these scars will bleed, 
But both of our hearts believe, 
All these stars will guide us home."

- All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran


i'm still waiting for my time to come,
to come to believe that,
there is us.

kept questioning when will my time come for me to,
feel that true happiness,
being able to share that happiness with someone,
someone whom makes everything feel so,


c o m p l e t e.

Just The Beginning

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you future and a hope." 

Jeremiah 29:11

Hey guess what! someone just finished her Bible Study, *giggles*

It's the most awesome achievement feeling this year :'D 

{besides joining the paintball match (& won the match)}

I felt that I grew so much after 2 months becoming a new believer, so proud of myself. 

But yeah, that's not the end of the journey, it's just the beginning and there's still so much more I need to learn. 

I gotta lift my head up high, searching & hoping for a better future that He had planned, and follow His way as he led me through this entire journey. 

Beside being able to learn so much from BS, 

I've met great and awesome believers in church, esp, Ps and my CG leader. 

& everyone of course ; played their own roles showing love and giving advice to me, as a new believer. Being able to hear part of their journey becoming a true believer,

through their testimony, history and story. 

It's just amazing to see how everyone has different background and history and seek for Him, and also them growing their love, faith, trust, and believe in Him each and every single day, even though some backed off, but they re-dedicated their life once more to 

HIM. 

Drowning

What am I still doing, Why am I still hanging onto my past, I thought that I've moved on with my past life, It has been more than a year, and theres so many distractions for me to forget but after some time I realised that, I'm still that girl, waiting and hoping what had left me. I've been telling myself to move on, to move on, no matter what don't look back. 

I did not look back but I just stood there, waiting someone to hold me, 

saying "come on, let's go." 

Photo from http://huephoric.blogspot.com/

Your choice

A lesson I've learnt today 

from someone who's been really upset & having so much thoughts on her mind. 

I thought I was strong enough to hold back my tears, 

but no. 

I wasn't

but I was stronger than I thought by protecting my mom and everyone else before everything turn worst.

Before involving myself in the scene, I thought, 

whether to just back off or stand up

I stood up, (before dad start hitting something..)

I dragged mom to my room, stood in between my dad and mom, 

I can't believe I just stood there, 

in between both of them.

Who am I

I keep making the same mistake.

I keep making the same mistake.

I keep making the same mistake.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

When will I ever stop repeating the same mistake.

Over and over again.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

I keep repeating the same mistake.

People make mistakes, but I keep doing, repeating, making the same mistakes over and over again.

Why am I even that dumb? 

That dumb to even realised that everything I do is a mistake.